Saturday 11/19/11, celebrating 26 weeks, I met up with some of my old roommates at Kneaders! Carlina, Kim, and Karen! I haven’t seen them since my wedding – so over two years! It was SOOOOO good to see them! We just talked and caught up with everything that’s going on in our lives! I love them so much! It was again, good to get out of the house for awhile.
I went home around 1:00, and when I got home I found a surprise waiting for me in the mail. Remember Meg? Well, she said she would send me a book entitled “Gone Too Soon”. Its an LDS perspective on child loss. Well, she ended up sending so much more than that! She sent a card, a notebook for me to write my thoughts and questions in, and she sent me an adorable baby blanket! I started crying when I pulled out the blanket.
I’ve been avoiding buying things baby related. Not purposely, I just have stayed away from it because we don’t know what the future holds for our little guy. But having this blanket has meant the world to me. It’s something tangible I can cuddle since I can’t cuddle my son. I was filled with so many emotions when I saw it – mostly joy but sadness too. Unless you’ve experienced it, you can’t know how it feels trying to be happy and enjoy the experience of pregnancy when you know your time is limited with your child. It’s hard being positive in the face of such a situation. But this blanket symbolizes peace and comfort and I cannot thank Meg enough for sending it! I can’t wait to wrap my little man in it.
The rest of that day I hung out with Scott, relaxed when he went to a young men’s activity at 4:00 (He’s 2nd counselor in the YM’s Presidency) then we went to Aaron’s (brother-in-law) 30th birthday party. We didn’t stay too long, but it was fun! Scott took me to hang out with my parent’s afterword while he took my brothers and Kira to play laser tag. I’m not allowed to play, being pregnant with an ill child and all lol. But having such limited energy anyway, it was nice to relax with me mama. 8)
On Sunday 11/20/11, we met Kim at the Fife household where she took some maternity pictures for us! It was so kind of her to do that. I felt bad because she’d never done a maternity photo shoot before, and I didn’t come prepared with many ideas to help her out lol. And the lighting was hard to play with. But I think she did a wonderful job and I appreciate her using her talents to help us out! With our recent scare of losing baby, we decided to get a move on with making memories, so these will be a wonderful addition to that! I can’t get over that belly of mine though lol.
On Monday (11/21/11) at our appointment with Dr. Brown, he came in and immediately checked my measurement (still at 31) and listened to the baby’s heart. He just shook his head and listened. Again, it started off slow (around 50bpm) then went up to 140 and stayed there consistently for the rest of the time we listened. When he finished, Dr. Brown sat down and said, “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. None of us thought you’d make it this far, especially after last week.” He said he’d be interested to hear what the doctor’s at our MFM appointment would tell us on Wednesday. He talked to us about possibly transferring up to the U of U MFM because St. Mark’s works as more of a consulting MFM, but at the U they’d work with us on a consistent basis and we’d see the same doctor and everything. He wanted us to ask about what they thought about delivering, had us set up another appointment with him just in case, then we headed out.
At our MFM appointment Wednesday (11/23/11) we got rather frustrated. We saw a different doctor – the 4th one we’ve seen there – and she gave us yet another opinion. She told us the fluid around his lungs, stomach etc. looked about the same, but that there was more fluid in his skin because as he grows, there’s more blood, which makes more fluid, causing his skin to swell. We asked her opinion about delivery and she basically told us she recommends we go full term and let the baby decide how long he wants to keep going. She told us the earlier they deliver him, the harder it’ll be on him because he’ll have all of the complications of being a preemie on top of his hydrops. She said she worries about his chances even at full term, let alone as a preemie. She pretty much guaranteed if he were delivered too early, he would get sick and pass away from too much attacking his body at once.
The MFM doctor asked if we want to keep seeing them or not because they don’t give us much information – which is true. All we do is see our little boy on the ultrasound, which is hard because we see his condition each time, but its reassuring to see his heart beating. Of course, this time was a little different – instead of just hearing the arrhythmia, we could see it. That was tough. Anyway, we’ll probably keep going, just go less often. We wish we had a little more consistency. Honestly, we don’t feel like the MFM doctors care too much about our situation. Its like they’re all waiting for him to pass away, which isn’t a fun feeling. But we’re going to think about it some more.
11/24/11 - Ahhhh Thanksgiving! Gotta love a holiday where you can sit around and stuff your face all day! Scott and I got up early so we could head down to Riverton to meet up with people to play football…I should say, for Scott to play football lol. They had a wonderful turnout! My dad and most of my brothers were there and several people from their ward. I had my coat and a beanie and a blanket and a camping chair to sit in, so I was set lol. It was a little chilly, but not too bad! Natalie and I watched the game together and it was very much entertaining! They all played really well!
Scott stole third lol.
We went to my parent’s house afterward to hang out for a little while. Then Scott and I went to his parent’s house so he could shower lol. When he was ready, we headed down to Kim and Aaron’s for the rest of Thanksgiving. Scott’s Grandma and three of his cousins were there as well. We haven’t seen them for quite awhile, so it was nice having them there! I felt bad because I didn’t do much helping other than eating. I’ve been absolutely exhausted lately and for some reason I wasn’t feeling too well that afternoon/evening. Stuffing myself didn’t do much to help either lol. The food was wonderful though! And it was very nice to sit and relax.
Socks (Kim and Aaron's cat) fell asleep on the arm of the couch by me lol.
Scott, myself, Kim and Steph braved Wal-Mart to see what Black Friday deals we could get. Scott and I were interested in an X-Box deal and Kim was looking for some toys. Can I just tell you – people are INSANE? We didn’t even stay until 10 when they released everyone and I was overwhelmed by the crowd! It was kind of a blessing that they had already handed out all of the tickets for the X-Box deal. I didn’t have the patience or energy to stand in line or deal with the crowds lol. It was interesting to get my first view of what Black Friday does to people…
The rest of the weekend kind of went to the dogs. Friday we tried to buy an X-Box 360 online for Scott and the Wal-Mart website freaked out. It ended up charging us according to our bank account, but their website kept telling us the sale wouldn’t go through. We called customer service and the lady gave us the confirmation code to our order but said the order might cancel. Which it did. Now we’re waiting for our money to refund (which can take up to 30 days) so we can try again.
Our heat has slowly been going out on us and by Sunday it turned on once, then wouldn’t turn on anymore. We FROZE. Also our kitchen sink decided it didn’t want to drain anymore so I couldn’t do the dishes. And Scott woke up with a stomach ache and ended up having some kind of flu. His stomach hurt all day. He didn’t go to church and he said he felt well enough to go to my parent’s house for dinner and to celebrate Micah’s birthday. While we were there he started to get worse though and we left early to get him home to bed. 8( He threw up several times throughout the night, was in constant pain, and my gurgling heartburn acting up during the night drove him to the couch because he couldn’t stand the noise lol.
As of today, our heat is fixed, my kitchen sink drains again, and Scott is doing much better. So we’re excited and looking forward to December and whatever life might bring! We just hope this hasn’t been a warm up. Our prayer is that we can enjoy Christmas with our family, including our son.
Me at 26 Weeks
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